I always tell everyone I came to S.C. because God sent me here to follow my dreams and His will for my life. God wants me to help people, and this is one place He sent me. My omission: what I didn’t say was that I also left Erie because I was starting to care too much.
I found myself in love with someone—myself. This made it so much easier to love other people. What’s the byproduct of such delicious nourishment to my soul? I had feelings for a few men that weren’t so good for me.
They’re intelligent, decent gentleman. But I did not go to Seminary and graduate with my Master’s when I was filled with cancer, homelessness and alienation so I could be with someone who’s “good”. I want the best, because I intend of becoming the best.
If one of these three men doesn’t want to step up, praise the Lord! I intend of being the happiest woman in the world—that means being single indefinitely until the one who loves Jesus more than me finds me and I realize I cannot live without him. I cannot change anyone or make anyone else happy. Since I’m already happy with Jesus and the career and calling He gave me, I will not have anyone dragging me down and taking me off His best path.
If one day, one of them decides to truly follow Jesus and meet me in the level of excellence I’m in at that point in my life, then perhaps we shall have a chance. As long as we have Jesus as the head, anything is possible. We can work through anything. I just know that God has the best for me, because I’m the best. Not that l’ve achieved the “best” already, but I shall never be satisfied with my level of godliness and I shall always try to be a better wife, friend, sister, daughter, etc. Hopefully, I don’t come off as prideful. But that’s probably what makes someone the best. Just keep trying and keep striving to make life better–for yourself and others– and there’s no way you can lose.
Praying for you all and I love you!
I appreciate you all!