I recommend to be happy, you must always look at people and situations and judge them with your eyes, and what you think you see. If, for example, you see someone with red eyes—ASSume (NOT a typo) they’re on drugs. Even if they are, you should not try to help them in any way, you should simply continue on your selfish way and read about their death in the newspaper tomorrow without a TINGE of guilt for your selfishness.
See someone with a book bag, or carrying a plastic bag? ASSume they’re homeless and again, go on your selfish way. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT try to help them in any way. You should NOT give them food, or pay for a hotel room for the night, NOTHING! You should give them a dirty look and say “GET A JOB!” because that does a lot to keep the person from suicidal thoughts. I know it definitely makes you feel “above” or “better than” right? Also, ASSume this could NEVER happen to YOU (because you have all power and bless yourself with all your money, talents, gifts and abilities–which you are NOT using. ) ASSume this person will NEVER overcome and will NEVER rise higher in their position in life than you are currently. For example, they could never become a billionaire stock market agent (Chris Gardner) could NEVER become the CEO of a major company and earn billions of dollars (Steve Jobs) they could never own a ton of companies, inspire the world, own an island and become a world renowned philanthropist (Tony Robbins) they definitely never make it in the “make believe world” of writing (J.K. Rowling) because books, newspapers and magazines don’t exist right? Plus, nobody reads, right? So nobody is writing the stuff nobody reads, right?
Last but not least, you should go to church on Sunday, give to them, but don’t give what you can or should–give God your leftovers– then brag to everyone about it! Tell everyone how “good” of a person you are because you go to church every week, and say an obligatory prayer or two.
One last thing, you should assume that since a man or woman goes to church they’re “good” and you should date them. After all, the only place you can meet good people is in church right?
Liberty’s Devil’s Advocate…